Disrespecting your partner:
Sometimes as an adult, you don’t even realise you’re doing it. Disrespecting, or putting your partner down in front of your children, can lead your children into disrespecting their parent in the same way.
Scenario 1)
Steve is a confident driver, Jane, not so much. Jane drove the family to the supermarket. However, it was jam-packed, and parking was tight. Jane tried her best to park, needing to continually re-correct to fit within the lines. A frustrated Steve yells out, “COME ON. IT’S NOT THAT HARD!” Then precedes by getting out of the car, swapping with Jane in the driver’s seat, and finally parking accordingly. “Jane, let a man handle it next time!”
Scenario 2)
Steve’s daughter asked for help with her math homework. Being a caring father, Steve did his best to help her, even though his math wasn’t the greatest. Unfortunately, Steve has a habit of talking too much (babbling), confusing and frustrating his daughter. Jane could see her daughters frustration and became frustrated. In a sudden outburst, Jane yells out, “STEVE, SHUT UP! YOU’RE CONFUSING HER!”
Outcome)
Both scenarios are quite common when having a family, with many deeming them as everyday scenarios. Although what does it teach your children? It can teach your children to disrespect their parent for their flaws! By yelling at your wife for parking badly, it shows your children that it is ok to yell at their mum for her faults. By yelling at your husband for his lack of math knowledge and babbling nature, it teaches your children that it is ok to yell at him and to tell him to shut up! Your children will not grow up with respecting their parents’ flaws; instead, looking at their parents as flawed and possibly treating them as such.
What could have been done)
Instead of yelling and verbalising flaws in a negative manner, you could word the incident as a manner of growth. You could say things like, “Honey, would you like my help? I can show you how to do it,” or “Babe, let me have a go as well; we can do it together.”
This will then teach your children that it is okay to be flawed; to see flaws as a meaning of growth, as opposed to a means of being disrespected and abused.
